Lecture 9

In my opinion, based on my culture, the attachment style differs in aspect of gender and the order of the siblings. Males are expected to be more independent and portray good image while females need to obey rules given by fathers or male siblings. Also, first female and first male siblings in the family are expected to be the well-behaved one. Attachment style could change over time because my parents are both working and we are being taken care of by helpers and drivers. Other than that, we don't spend much time with our parents due to their work commitment hence the weaker bond. I can say that we group up in a dysfunctional family. We become distant to each other and never discussing important matters that involves being vulnerable.

- Sabrina

Asyiqin

Pada pandangan saya, gaya keterikatan ini akan berubah mengikut umur. Yang mana, ketika kita kecil, gaya keterikatan ini sangat kuat. Yang mana, perhatian yang tinggi amat diberikan. Dalam budaya saya, kanak² sangat diberikan perhatian dan tidak boleh ditinggalkan sewaktu kecil. Kerana mereka takut bayi tersebut akan dinganggu oleh makhluk halus. Apabila meningkat dewasa, perhatian yang diberikan agak kurang sedikit kerana ibu bapa perlu mengajar anak yang telah dewasa untuk berdikari

In my opinion the style of attachment can change over time. Based on my culture, parents will give adequate attention to children and try their best to meet the needs despite having economic problems. As children get older they will be less dependent on their parents and more independent to meet their own needs. (Feyrashandy Hanlin Hanis)

 In my opinion, attachment styles can change over time when parents pay less attention to their children and more concerned about their work. i also feel the attitude of some parents towards children can also affect the anxious feelings of their children. For example, in my culture, a father more assertive towards children even as the age of the children has increase. The result of such parental assertiveness can also entice children become anxious ambivalent,avoidant and disorganized. - nadia

Based on my culture, what can be seen is that the Style of attachment will change based on changes or shifts in the situation. For example, when I was in the kid's category, my parents were very aware of what I was doing especially playing outside with friends. But when you are in your teens, this is where you will be pushed to get used to living independently.

-henson-

Zakri Kassim

In my family, attachment style will slowly decline over time. For example, during infant period, parents would usually give much attention to us and play a lot. However, as time goes by, during my high school times, my parents give less attention such as let me solve my own problem and make decision for myself. It is because they want me to be more independent.

From what i see in my culture (Dusun). Attachment between the child and parents can change overtime. Anxious avoidant is the attachment that we can see in my culture because child was close to uncle and aunty. They can be mad to the child when they were too naughty or enjoy playing with other. Sometimes whenthe child grow, the attachment will change to securely attached where the children were close to the parents and the attachment will effect the child's later life. -Nadirah

Eve Angela

Attachment style is built in childhood and typically maintained throughout life. But in most situations, it may change due to life experiences, personal growth or in between relationships. In my culture, most infants are securely attached with their parents or caregivers. As the infants grow older, they are somehow exposed to different surroundings and this might influence the attachment style they first developed with their primary attachment figure.

Berdasarkan budaya saya, ibu yang akan bertanggungjawab dalam mendidik anak-anak dan bapa hanya bertanggungjawab dalam menyediakan nafkah kepada keluarga.

Jasrol Malubin

In my culture, more like in my household, my parents tend to apply the anxious/disorganized style often, due to the anxiety of finding the appropriate job to take care of the household. Whereas both my parents work, not determining which one is the breadwinner.

- Suwiytha Kriethy Suppramaniam

Nurhafizah

"In my opinion, attachment style really changes through time (maybe economic status also influence the attachment between child and parents). For example in Malay culture (I take myself as example), when I was a kid, my mom was always by my side to help me doing school work. But now, I can say that she is no longer aware of what my younger siblings do at home. She don't know what homework they have, do they finish their homework, etc. Children are more attached to friends or gadget."

Hello, my name is gearry.I think that attachment styles can be change through modern lifestyles since we now have seen that there are many children that are spending more time with their device rather than with their parents and it same goes to the parents as well rather than spending more time with their children the some parents spend more time with their devices such as mobile phone and this is also applies in my culture.

Marcella

based on my culture, attachment styles can change especially when the child has grown up, they will be less attached to parents or guardians because they are educated to do things without having to depend on parents and need to be mature. For example, when they were small they ate bribed by their mother or father, when they grew up they had to eat on their own without being bribed.

SITI NUR AISYAH KHAIRUL NIZAM

Attachment styles can be change over time as the parents grew older and the children grown up. In my culture and my own experience, secure attachment does exist but overprotective and ignorance parenting always make the child feel insecure. They tend to decide everything and less likely to accept their children opinion and feeling. They always say " what will people think?"

So, it will change after the children manage to decide for their own and finally the parents decide to be open for changes.

Attachment style can change in my culture especially according to one's age. In my culture it is believed that children needs more attention and love from the parents; making them securely attached to them. As these children grow older, parents often would be less attached as they feel like their children has 'grown up'. At this point some actions such as 'boys don't hug' or 'big kids do not cry' is implement making the child feel less and less attached to their parents.

-Nur Diana

Tinesh

In my culture, well technically in my family la. The attachment style gets weaker(like wouldn’t show very obvious signs of care) as they grow older in name of independence. Starts to be strict and all. And once done with college they’ll start to get close to us again as at that time it really feels weird to reconnect after a big gap. And it kinda remains in an awkward stage ever since.

i think the attachments style will change follow by the year. This is because as year pass, the culture also will change follow by year. The old style maybe suitable for year before but it is not suitable for now. -Yong

Nurul Akmar Muhd Sani

I believe attachment style changes over time because the current generation will realize the effect of bad attachment of their parents so they want to imply healthy attachment style towards their children and it will be pass on the next generation

In my culture, as modern parents, they tend to focus more on works, hence their attachment styles affect to their children. most parents practice anxious/disorganised style, which causes them to have self-disrupt behaviour

- Muhammad Fiqry bin Mohd Yazid

i think attachment styles could be changes over time if we married with someone different from our culture. it will different in terms of how we taking care child. Based on my culture bajau children need sleepping together with parents untill their able to sleeping alone- HAZRATUL

Yusra

The attachment style will change with circumstances especially when the attachment figure (usually parents) is gone. For example in malay culture, the eldest daughter will take the responsibility to take care of the family. If the father die, the eldest son will take responsibility as bread winner. This is only of the children are old enough, but if not, other guardian will take over and the style will change accordingly.

Task 2: Please upload your PowerPoint 1 slide (which needs to convert to pdf) here with all the members' names! The most creative group will be rewarded, and the reward will credit to your e-wallet. =) Let's start the game!

Task 1: How attachment styles can be changed over time based on your culture? Do share your thoughts here! =)

Please write down your name before writing your thoughts.

pada pendapat saya, the attachment styles ni berubah mengikut perubahan umur anak-anak. sebagai contoh, semasa saya kecil, ibu bapa sangat-sangat protective dan saya tidak boleh membuat sesuatu tanpa kebenaran mereka tetapi bila saya sudah meningkat ke alam dewasa, ibu bapa menjadi seperti kawan baik saya dan tidak terlalu strict seperti dulu. ini kemungkinan disebabkan, as we grow older, kita sudah pandai membezakan perkara baik dan buruk.

-Fatin Solehah

pada pendapat saya,gaya Gaya keterikatan berubah mengikut peredaraan masa. hal ini menunjukkan segelintir ibubapa yang bekerja akan lebih sibuk dan tidak mempunyai masa bersama anak-anak. kanak-kanak akan lebih rapat bersama dengan orang lain berbanding ibubapa tersebut. tapi,apabila meningkat dewasa ibubapa ,kanak-kanak tersebut akan mula memahami keadaan ibubapa tersebut.

sarah sofia.

Featrece Lisa @ Lawai

In my opinion, the attachment styles can change over the time. Based on my culture, parental role can changes over time to continue meeting the needs of the child. In the beginning, an attached child is young and needs constant support and security from the caregiver. As they grow up, a child's needs change.

Cecelia

According to my culture (Dusun), attachment style can be changed overtime based on the person itself. Attachment style will be different as they get older because of their exposure to the environment around them. As an example, attachment could be secure at first but then end up being insecure especially when an individual grow up in a safe home then they are forced to move out or get a job by their parents. Their attachment style will surely change later on.

Siti Hajar Mohd Yusof

Bp19110070

In my opinion, the attachment styles of an individual will surely changed across time and especially cultures. For example in Malay culture , which probably most malays are muslim . Husband can marry up until 4 wives , the attachment between a father and his children from each wives will be different. It probably caused by how much the father spend time for his children from each wives . So, the lesser the time spent by the father , the less child will be attached to their father and most likely will not be have securely attachment style's children toward their father because most of the time they will be with the mother.

Jessielie Felicia Sibin

In my opinion, attachment style can change over time for a child to be someone who is often dependent on parents to be more independent without always depending on parents as they grow up. This is because, in the Dusun culture in my family, if a child is always cared for by someone other than their parents, they know that the person who took care of them is not their parents, and makes the children feel less secure, so this makes them less or unwilling to depend on the caregiver and makes them more independent as they feel do not want to burden anybody other than their parents as a kid until grow up.

There are two types of attachment,secure and insecure. It will be affect of the relationship between caregivers /mother and kids. In china, some kids don't grow up with their parents, most kids grow up in a extended family. In town, most kids grow up with their grandparents. The grandparents in town focus on food and clothing problems of kids while ignore their mental need. Some kids will get more naughty to get the grandparents/ their parents' attentions. In this situation, most chinese kids is nervous attchment. There is a different situation in city, most parents get busy in city, so they let their kids in the nursery. But the nursery have many kids and some teacher has not high educated. Because, in china, Some teachers are not highly educated. It let some teachers in nursery haven't a nice way to care of the kids.Meanwhile, there are too many student which let teacher easy to ignore one. It will affect aviod anxiety attachment. when those kids grow up, they should development relationship in social. Warmth and politeness are common traits in chinese social,both will let these two type attachment persons feel so uncomfortable, but also can improve their attachment. Aviod anxious attachment person will thought why they care of me? why they like me ? why they so enthusiasm??? I don't knowww!! i don't want they do this, they just want to show their politeness! It will let the person misunderstand the love and more and more aviod anyone love. But once they fell someone is sincerely to care of it,then the aviod will be improvement. Next is about the anxious attachment, some of them do something unnormal activies because they want to love.But most chinese face that can't say no and let they stop because this respond be thought not polite. Meanwhile, most of this behavious be called the behavious of "small girl"......some boy like it and would like to tolerate that.It will let the attchment more and more serious.

CAIQIPING BP20170006

Farah

In my opinion, attachment style change over the years in my culture. The children get less attach to their parents when they get older since the children start to be independent. Attachment also can change if there are younger siblings, which result in the parents attention will be more on the younger siblings.

Bagi pendapat saya, attachment style berubah apabila kanak-kanak semakin membesar mengikut keadaan persekitaran. Semasa kecil, ibu bapa akan lebih memberi perhatian dan mengikuti kehendak anak-anak. Tetapi apabila meningkat remaja, kami diajar untuk lebih berdikari dan belajar bagaimana untuk berkomunikasi dengan orang ramai serta kami dididik untuk sentiasa bersikap positif dalam apa jua keadaan yang dihadapi.

- Nur Syasya Amirah bt Md Sanusi (BP1960474)

From my own experience, I don't think the attachment style will change too much even we grow up to adult. This is because, from what I've been experienced in my family, we are still close with each other whether with my father side or my mother. We can still managed to sit together and tell each other about our memories and adventures.

~Lenrietta~

Suwati

In my indian culture, the attachment style of a child and parent changes as the child gets grows older. When the child is young, the attachment of the parent and child is very close in form of love and cares. If the child grows older, the attachment is lesser compare during the young age. This is because the parents thinks that they are independent enough to take care of their self. Moreover, when there's more than 1 sibling in a family, the attachment style will also will be different. Because the the parent will always gives their attention to the younger child and the elder child will not have enough attention. This will make the elder child stress. But this all will take time for a child to understand.

Affiq

In my opinion Attachment style did change in my culture, however the changes depends on the relationship with the parents. In my own family life, we are all very attach to my our mother so much that even when im older, i still like to tease my mom just like when i was a little kid. As for my father however, we were not that close since he used to work very far away and only return home once every two weeks.

In my opinion, attachment styles can change as a person ages. When a person steps into adulthood, many new things or experiences are encountered. Like my culture, Kedayan, the older a person gets, the more things he or she needs to do and learn in order to become more independent person. Therefore, the parent’s attachment style will change and adapt to one’s age. At a young age, it is necessary to be guided by parents in almost everything, but as we get older, the attachment style needs to be changed accordingly so that we become slowly independent.

-Khairunnisa

Bagi pendapat saya, gaya keterikatan boleh berubah dari semasa ke semasa. Sebagai contohnya, ibu bapa yang bercerai boleh mengubah gaya terikatan yang telah diterapkan oleh mereka ke atas anak mereka. Hal ini boleh menyebabkan anak-anak akan lebih !udah mendapat gaya jenis avoidant, fearful-avoidant, dan anxious. Perkara ini pernah terjadi ke atas ahli keluarga saya sndiri dan saya boleh nampak bagaimana gaya keterikatan antara keluarga tersebut telah berubah secara drastik.

Nurul Sa'adiah Bt Zamri

Nurmizah

In my culture, the attachment style change over time depends on children age. At the young age, most parents will fully attached with their children. When they became teenager, the attachment will change and children become less attached to their parents.

Rechaell

Both of my parents are Dusun, and they did their very best in providing us in many aspects, including physical and emotional care. My siblings and I were allowed to express our thoughts and feelings to our parents. As an adult, I feel comfortable around people and I can make new friends too. I can say that the secure attachment built during my early years affect who I am now.

Sofia

attachment styles can be change when there are changes happening in life. Same like what happen to Mr. Smith family. As for what I see in my culture (close relatives), all these attachment styles will happen when the parents are busy doing work. So when too tired, children will be neglected and unknowingly, parents do not give enough love. That's why some kids act ambivalent. That's one of the example for attachment styles.

Mohamad Shahril (bp19110249)

Pada pandangan saya, the attachment style ini akan berubah mengikut peringkat umur kita. Dalam konteks ini, semua orang pada peringkat kanak-kanak akan dilayan dan mendapat kasih sayang yang sama, namun meningkat dewasa pula semua anak-anak akan dididik dengan tanggungjawab dan peranan masing-masing. Perkara ini lebih ditumpukan kepada anak sulung dalam mendidik adik-beradik tersebut. peranan masing-masing dibentuk dengan disiplin dan ketegasan, namun didikan tersebut tidaklah meregangkan lagi hubungan malahan meningkatkan lagi rasa tanggungjawab pada diri terutamanya peranan anak sulung.

Nazzatul Syafina

Dalam budaya saya iaitu Melanau, dapat dilihat pada awal usia bayi sehingga 3 tahun, attachment itu adalah Secure. Kemudian ia berubah kepada Anxious Avoidant di mana apabila kanak-kanak terlalu menunjukkan perasaan, seperti terlalu gembira sehingga membuat bising yang dapat mengganggu orang lain, kanak-kanak akan dimarahi.

iqhmal

Based on my culture (dusun), attachment style changes are influenced by time. When they are children, parents pay full attention to their children. Proper care, protecting the child from any form of danger and giving full love is their way on us. After getting older, children are more likely to make their own personal matters and parents do not care what their children do, because they believe that the results of education given until their children grow up can shape their children into useful people.

Alya

In my opinion, the attachment styles change because of us as the child grows older. My parents were strict when I was a kid. I couldn't do this and that. When I grew up, they did not really focus on me anymore, maybe because they think I am older now and can make decisions. Because they already taught me all the things that they should have taught me.

Pada pendapat saya, dalam keluarga saya sendiri iaitu kaum dusun, attachment style berubah apabila pertambahan umur itu berlaku atau ada adik baru. Semakin naik umur ibu bapa akan cuba buat anak-anak lebih berdikari dan apabila ada adik baru, ibu bapa lebih fokus kepada yang lebih muda. CALRASE

Salveoretoyson Satu

bp19110428

in my opinion, attachment style is influenced by the passage of time. this is because we can see through the education of people first and will change to a new learning. for example, in my culture, parents will scare their children if they are late to go home by saying there are ghosts coming out in the evening, then, in the next year anyway, their ways change because the past ways can’t be used due to cultural change.

Nur Ismira

For me, both my parents are working so we siblings were sent to nursery. My culture (malay), we had secure attachment style in early age when parents gave their most attention, but over the years after spent years with  caretaker we  develop avoidant attachment . I myself rarely express my feelings and feel awkward when being affectionate

Jennifer Ho Ching Voon

Merujuk kepada budaya saya, gaya lampiran adalah sukar untuk berubah kerana kanak-kanak dalam budaya saya/lebih kurang seumur dengan saya dibesarkan dalam persekitaran yang kurang sokongan daripada keluarga/penjaga, mendapat perhatian yang kurang mencukupi, dan kehendak/keperluan sering diabaikan.

Dalam budaya Cina, walaupun mereka lebih mementingkan kanak-kanak belajar untuk berdikari & berdisiplin, tetapi mereka masih akan memberikan bantuan kepada anak-anak dengan bersesuaian jika perlu.

Suatu gaya lampiran kemungkinan dapat diubahkan atau ditambahbaikan dengan usaha penjaga/ibu bapa yang membesarkan anak dari kecil, ataupun mengaplikasikan gaya keibubapaan yang menawarkan keselamatan dan kasih sayang kepada remaja/dewasa yang sudah besar agar gaya lampiran dan personaliti mereka dapat diubah. Misalnya dari gaya anxious-avoidant kepada gaya secure.

Catherine

Attachment style can change from time to time based on my own culture, kadazandusun. From my personal experience, my parents always give me love and care about me. But their attachment become less when I'm adult, and it doesn't mean that they didn't care about me but they expect me to be independent. Attachment also change when there is younger siblings in the family where they are more focus to the younger one and teach the older to be more independent.

Wan Izyan Husna binti Wan Mohd Bashar

In my opinion, based on my cultures which are Malay & particularly Islamic, attachment styles can be changed over time usually during age 7 and older. This is because during these ages, Muslim children are slowly exposed to learn about religious practices such as praying 5 times a day and reading the Quran. Often, parents can be quite strict in teaching the children in order for their children to know and conduct good Islamic practices since school age period so that they can be good Muslims when they are older. The children may be insecurely attached as the reaction to their parents' strict teaching. However, I do believe that when doing so, parents and children can develop a more securely attached relationship with one another because they spend time and perform the practices together. That is my personal opinion regarding this question. Thank you :)

Gaya keterikatan berubah apabila ibu bapa bekerja. Ini kerana selalunya kakak atau abang yang akan menjaga adik yang masih kecil. Hubungan rapat itu lebih kepada hubungan dengan adik-beradik berbanding ibu bapa. Namun begitu, jika dalam situasi anak memerlukan ibu bapa, ibu bapa akan tetap ada dengan anak-anak.

Dg Rusyidatussoleha

Kousalya

I think attachment style changes when children get older. Especially in Indian culture, the attachment between parents and daughters are stronger compared to attachment between parents and sons. Some fathers even stop talking to their sons but still care for them. But love from mothers remain the same.

Jumaliah

Based on my family culture, parents tend to give their attention to their child for the sake of security in terms of avoiding accidents happens. Indirectly, parents that are giving attention and providing care have led the tendency of a child to develop a secure attachment. Upon growing up, the attachment may change as physical affection are getting less as we are influenced by the biological development on us. Hence, there are some boundaries that needed to be considered. Sometimes, the display of affection such as kissing or hugging are less expressed as love are not conveyed through a merely saying 'I love you', instead showing action by non-verbal behaviours (cooking, doing house chores, giving allowance, etc).

Nurul

(BP19110185)

From my own culture, the attachment styles may change over time when the situation is different. For example, when the family lost one of their beloved person or divorce families, it will changed the attachment styles automatically. The children will faced different attachment styles on their development. Some children will be a anxious and some will grow positively.

Nuralliah Sarah Binti Juning

BP20110420

In my opinion, the attachment style change based on how close i'm to someone. When i close to someone i feel safe when they around me but when they not around i feel afraid to go out from my comfort zone. For example, I'm afraid to go to place that have many people without my father. As time goes by, i learn to communicate with many people. As a result, I able to go somewhere even without my father.

Shabran

Bp19110417

Attachment can be changed over time when the social stigma changes too. i think attachment styles could be changes over time if we married with someone different from our culture. it will different in terms of how we taking care child. As for bajau culture, mother is a figure who seems close to their children because back then, a mother is responsible for taking care of her children and a father is the provider for the family.

Pada pendapat saya, secure attached dimana ibu akan memberikan sepenuhnya layanan yang baik untuk anak-anaknya. Ibu sanggup tidak berkerja untuk menunaikan tangggungjawabnya sebagai ibu yang mendidik anak walaupun ibu bukan seorang pendidik. Anak-anak juga berasa selesa apabila ibunya sentiasa ada dengan dia. Kita dapat lihat dimana hasil didikan ibu akan menghasilkan seorang insan yang berguna serta cemerlang dalam hidup. Anak-anak juga akan merasakan ketenangan dengan didikan ibu..Qasidah

Nurul Fazira Adam Ku

Based on my culture, attachment style will change 5 times which is from

1. Infant

2. Kindergarten

3. Middle School

4. High School

5. After high school

During infant, my family will have most of the care this time. After growing up to go to kindergarten, they will slowly decrease the attachment style by letting us go in to kindergarten alone. In middle school, the attachment decrease more. I saw this when i was in middle school. My parents will not really care about me but still pick me up and send me to school even when it is not on time. During high school i found out there is no more attachment because we will go to school and come back our selves . After high school, parents will always say that in our culture people this age will go out find their own money. Thats how our attachment slowly decrease.

Rishanthi

I believe in some families, with the arrival of a newborn in the family, parents' attachment to the eldest child changes. In most Indian families, after a point of time, compared to the younger siblings, parents tend to be less attached with their eldest child. They also expect the eldest to be fully responsible in taking care of their siblings in their absence.

Nathan

(Assuming that change over time means the development of an attachment style to dismantling the style). Sino Malaysians are, from my experience, methodical and careful. We see a lot of traditions and norms being passed from generation to generation, for example Confucian values of filial piety and restrictions on money spending. As times change and everything becomes more modern, these values become harder to maintain in many families. Taboos and restrictions are often erected in Sino Malaysian families to thus guide the new generations. These taboos and tales often entail terrible fates of losing great fortune, death or misfortune, which I believe will lead to fear in children. From personal experience, Sino Malaysian children often grow up to become more ingrained with these cultural values, and find it difficult to make connections with people from other ethnicities. In a way, it can be said that this has a great way of influencing a more “insecure attachment”. The inevitable transition into adulthood and work can help change these attachment styles. As the Chinese are far from the majority, colleagues and customers are likely to be from other ethnicities. Having to navigate through the quirks and cultures of other ethnicities can help bring the more reserved attitudes out of said individuals. It can be said that unless Sino Malaysians discard their traditional values, attachment styles will often be more fixated with “avoiding misfortune” in my opinion.

Dayang Nur Aisyah

Attachment can be changed over time when the social stigma changes too. As for Malay culture, mother is a figure who seems close to their children because back then, a mother is responsible for taking care of her children and a father is the provider for the family. As time goes by, many women tend to work too. And the attachment to a mother-figure is mostly shifted to a grandmother or other guardians. There are lots of children in Malay culture these days are under surveillance or care of their grandparents instead of attaching with their mother.